Only the lonely (need to read this post, and maybe not even them?)

 To be grown up is to sit at the table with people who have died,who neither listen nor speak;Who do not drink their tea, though they always saidTea was such a comfort.From Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies, by Edna St. Vincent MillayLoneliness isn’t actually a disease. I checked the DSM-V. But it’s got …

Continue reading Only the lonely (need to read this post, and maybe not even them?)

Relatively speaking about grief (and other mistakes I’ve made).

Relativism is not a helpful mode for grieving. By nature it has no fixed position, which is problematic when someone’s already adrift because one of the central fixed points of their life – a loved one -- is gone. Bare relativism isn’t that helpful generally: how many idiotic conversations have been started in college classrooms …

Continue reading Relatively speaking about grief (and other mistakes I’ve made).

Concentricity, grief, and the spider’s web

"the possible settingsof a web are infinite:how doesthe spider keepidentitywhile creating the webin a particular place?how and to what extentand by what modes of chemistryand control?it iswonderfulhow things work: I will tell youabout itbecauseit is interestingand because whatever ismoves in weedsand stars and spider websand knownis loved:in that love,each of us knowing it,I love you,for …

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Grief, regret, guilt, and that sweet, sad Otis Blue (you can’t miss your water til the well runs dry, so drink up while you can.)

Montaigne wrote that every life is complete when it ends. He wanted death to find him planting his cabbages, concerned neither with mortality or even less his unfinished garden (but apparently overmuch with digestive health—why no radishes, arugula, or Japanese mustard greens, eh Michel?). We are always in the mode of becoming who we are, …

Continue reading Grief, regret, guilt, and that sweet, sad Otis Blue (you can’t miss your water til the well runs dry, so drink up while you can.)

Mansplaining to Judges is a thing and we are all in very deep trouble.

This was the only picture of female judges I could find on the Internet. OK, not quite, but pretty close, and most of the others were Judge Judy or RBG. (That's Sotomayor, Ginsburg, O'Connor, and Kagan, created by an enterprising woman who wanted to fill a void). I went to Richmond this week for an argument …

Continue reading Mansplaining to Judges is a thing and we are all in very deep trouble.

I can see clearly now (but also progressively less well).

*Quick Post-Hurricane Post-Postmortem Update: We had heavy rains for a couple days and nothing more. I know our friends and family down east got clobbered, so it's not an indication of what Florence did on the front lines, but Greensboro was largely spared.The other day I went to the ophthalmologist’s office for my annual diabetic …

Continue reading I can see clearly now (but also progressively less well).