Nina took pictures during our last "brush" with a hurricane, Bill back in 2009. It was also a non event, but it produced some pretty spectacular sunsets, and at least one gorgeous rainbow over Vineyard Sound.I spent our “hurricane” day off – the kids had no school and the federal courts were closed despite the …
Author: Afterword
I write about grief, loss, parenting solo, and surviving my wife, Nina Riggs, who died way too young after way too much cancer. I'm also a lawyer, but I don't write much about that.
Florry of Activity
I was supposed to be in Minneapolis today for a federal sentencing event. Instead I am in North Carolina awaiting Hurricane (and hopefully Tropical Storm by the time it gets to us) Florence. Apart from the usual Weather Channel hullaballoo sensationalizing the latest named storm of the season (Catastrophic Threat! Inland Exodus! -- the guy …
September 11th: the Afterthought
September 11 was my dad’s birthday and, though he died back in 2005 and I rarely remembered to send him anything on his birthday when he was alive, I’ve taken to posting something “to” him on 9/11 over the years on Facebook. It’s one of the few ways I keep in touch with my father …
An Unpaid Internship at the Nonprofit of Life
Cartoon is from ScoopCharlotte:https://www.scoopcharlotte.com/2015/05/08/moms-need-summer-internships/Raising kids is hard work. The hours suck and the pay is worse. Parenting is an unpaid internship at the nonprofit of life. You get exploited, taken for granted, shat upon (sometimes literally), and all you have to show for it are some “intangible” rewards and “life experience” the baby boomers seem …
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The Fates of Alamance County
The motel immortalized in Nina's memoir sits by the side of one of the busiest highways in North Carolina. And it used to feature this hairy chested bather by the (no longer extant) pool. There are a lot of things that remind me of Nina. There's the obvious: pictures, songs, books that belonged to her, movies …
Not gonna fade away just yet (but gimme shelter).
A partnership is a kind of shelter. Giving cover is inherently part of the intimacy of intimate partners: we divide household responsibilities, comfort one another in times of need, and even make excuses for failures to attend irksome social events when necessary. We shelter one-another.In this way, losing someone you love is way more than …
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Grief is Hard Work (Happy Labor Day!)
PrayerWhatever happens. Whateverwhat is is is whatI want. Only that. But that.Galway KinnellThere are lots of books about grief; Podcasts about grief; Whole conferences about it, too. There are any number of ways to engage with the subject of grief and most of them are readily available -- including this blog (thanks for coming! Also: …
Grief Stricken Kids Say the Darndest Things
They don't LOOK emotionally damaged, but don't think I'm not trying! I’ve done several book events for The Bright Hour like the one the Greensboro Library and GSO Hospice put on the other night (which was awesome, thank you again for making NER the community read!). I always enjoy discussing Nina’s work. It’s a welcome impetus …
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What Grief Does: A close reading you don’t need of a song you don’t care about.
Grief is a weird place. I’m kind of odd. It’s definitely been a strange combo. One of the things grief has done for me is permeate. I find it everyplace, whether I’m looking or not. It’s like a new crush, an upcoming vacation, a job search. Like a kid thinking about Christmas in November: even …
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Dog Days of Grief
Someone asked me last night how our dog, MacDuff, was doing. It was at an event promoting Nina’s book, which features a whole chapter on his adoption. So he’s kinda famous. The question got me thinking that I tend to view the events in our lives as a specifically human drama, but - as Nina recognized - MacDuff played his own significant role. …
Afterword 